Life of Pontmercy
by Queen of Panic
Summary: A lonely little one-shot about a lonely little boy. Modern AU please R&R because even though its slightly stupid it needs love too. rated K for youve got to be Kidding me...


**Disclaimer: Les Mis is not mine even though it should be**

**~No Pontmercys were harmed in the making of this one shot~**

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"So um... hi! I'm Marius Pontmercy, and I'm making this tape so I can remember the best night of my entire life! It all started... hmm... well I guess if I am going to tell you about this one night, you need to learn about my life prior to this moment. So, in the words of everyone's favorite singing Austrian family, "Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start."

"I grew up with my grandfather, and let me just say it was not very pleasant. He was a grouchy crotchety old meany pants and... Oh! Forgot this thing was recording! (Sorry grandpa, you're not really a big meany pants) Where was I? Oh yeah, I lived with my grandfather, my aunt and my annoying cousin, Theo. To be concise, Gramps was a big grouchy meany pants, Aunty was always cross, and Theo was a bonehead. I got so mad at Grandpa the night I left, though, that I actually flipped a table! I. Flipped. A table. And it felt good! (actually it was more like a chair. … Make that a footstool.(and I felt bad about flipping it so I put it back and apologized.) BUT THE POINT IS I FLIPPED IT OVER AND STORMED OUT OF THE ROOM LIKE A BOSS (after putting it back upright and apologizing.).

"So my home life was a wreck. But it was nothing compared to my social life. I'll start at elementary school. It was the first day of kindergarten. Some jerk stole my juicebox! I was so mad, but I didn't want to upset the teacher, so I just suffered in silence. The rest of elementary school was similar to that. In first grade, for the school play, I was a carrot, and while I was reciting my lines onstage, someone ACTUALLY THREW I CARROT AT ME! To add insult to injury, the same jerk who'd stolen my juicebox, Courfeyrac, had brought his bunny (Don't ask why Courf brought a bunny to a school play) and his bunny got loose and went onstage after the carrot! I was chased off the stage by that wretched beast, and to this day I still have an emotional fear of bunnies.

"Middle school was an awkward year for me, even though the jerk, Courfeyrac was now my best friend. He introduced me to his friends, Bahorel, Joly, Bossuet, Grantaire, Enjolras, Combeferre, Feuilly, Jehan, Eponine, Musichetta and Cosette. It was so cool! For the first time, I was part of a clique! We were so cool, no one else even talked to us, cuz we were VIP and they gave us lots of extra space in the lunch room! Also, in middle school I started having to duct tape my shirt to my pants because Courf and Bahorel would so frequently pants me. Oh sure I got weird looks but whatever salvaged my dignity. I should have been mad at Courf and Bahorel, but that's just the kind of friends they were. And that was middle school.

"High school stank. It literally stank. (High school was the year I hit puberty and discovered what BO was.) Sophomore year Enjolras decided to start a political youth group which we were all pretty much forced to join. In the end, we all got really involved, except for Grantaire, who had just joined to spend time with Enjolras, who he had the biggest gay crush on since 8th grade when he realized his feelings for him. Also in 8th grade Musichetta and Joly started dating, Jehan 'came out' that he was gay, (we all knew) Eponine started acting all weird around me, and most importantly, I realized I had feelings for Cosette. I mean, she's just so gentle and perfect, like if a Disney princess and a perfect, gorgeous pretty flower had a baby, it would be her! I told all the others but Courfeyrac laughed at me, Enjolras decided that no one cares, and Grantaire serenaded me. (I think he was drunk)

"But now you have to pay attention. Now we're at the point of the best day of my life. The day I finally worked up the nerve to ask Cosette if she wanted to study with me after school. I'll never forget her words, because I wrote them in my diary a hundred times over. She said, Sure, why not? And I was like, Okay, and she was like "How bout my house? And I was like Okay.

"Then I fell down the stairs.

"When we got to her house her dad was home and he was all weird around me and kept glaring at me... which was creepy. So then she suggests we go to the backyard, and so we do, and I notice she has this huge stone wall in her garden, so I decide to be all manly and climb it. I start climbing it, and it's really easy, and Cosette starts cheering me on. I'm about halfway up when she yells 'I believe in you, Marius!'. That's the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital with a fractured rib, a concussion, and 12 stitches near my eye. All the amis are standing around my bed, looking concerned, and then Cosette kisses my cheek and tells me that was the bravest thing she'd ever seen and I think I black out again after that.

"So thats where I am now, sitting in a hospital room, recording what has just been the best day of my life. Cosette said I was brave! I think tomorrow I'll ask her if she wants to catch a movie! But I think I'll ask Musichetta and Joly to go too, and maybe Enjolras and Grantaire so it isn't awkward. I also think I should stop now because theres a really mean looking nurse glaring at me. So this is Marius Pontmercy, signing off! Good night everybody!"

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**Ah Marius you hopeless romantic. Anyway, I wrote this in almost 45 minutes... its not perfect, I know, and also just to keep my page fresh. **

**AGAIN, NO PONTMERCYS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS ONE SHOT**


End file.
